Thursday, June 15, 2006

Holy shit! 3 times in a week?! Is she sick?

Hehe. Nope, I'm not sick. I'm merely losing my mind.

Between working a shit ton of hours, bailing the boyfriend out of financial issues and having my ex-husband call me for phone numbers to places that are for sale across the fucking street from me, I think I'm going to lose the rest of my hair. Seriously, I need a fucking break.

In the last month, I have worked a total of 224 hours. >_< Thankfully, this overtime will be ending the week of the 26th. I loveloveLOVE the paychecks, but I need a break. I seriously feel like I live here. I've seen my road crews more than my own son and, much as he pushes me to throw a tantrum in frustration, I miss the kid. Plus, my housework has fallen way behind. The place looks presentable as far as the living room and kitchen, but if you dare to venture past that, you do so at your own risk. Greg keeps saying he'll help out, but I haven't seen it yet. I can't really blame him, though. He's working just as much as I am, if not more. Needless to say, my frustration level is through the fucking roof. If he wasn't able to make all happy and tingly at night, I'd have probably killed someone by now.

Speaking of Greg, I think I may need to take that boy's debit card and check book from him and give him an allowance. I really don't see any other way to keep him from digging this hole he gets into EVERYTIME he gets paid! Granted, he does have some stuff that's auto-pay, but other than that, there's really no reason that I can see that his money situation should be what it is. I mean, I'm not really all that good managing money, either, but I could keep him from being in the hole. Maybe he'll actually let me do that this time, instead of telling me I'm in charge of his finances and not letting me do anything.

And, the ex-husband. I know he's just trying to get out of his parents house. But across the street? Really? That thought just doesn't sit well with me. I doubt he'll be able to get approved cuzz of his credit, but still. Why would he want to move in across the street?! What purpose would that serve? Granted, he'd be able to see Alex more, but that would also mean that he'd be in my space. My comfort zone. It just doesn't make me feel right. Is it just me? Am I just being a bitch here? Ugh.

I'm considering shaving my head more and more every day. The PCOS is making my hair fall out. It keep getting worse. I'm to a point now where if I can't get a headband to pull my hair back just right, I'll wear a ball cap to cover it up. It really makes me self conscious and I hate that. I'm 26 and I am balding. Like a man. There's a spot in the front and a spot in the back. I really want to buy a wig or two to wear after I shave my head, but I can't afford it. I'm thinking that if I can ever get some of this weight off (doubtful) that I can shave it then and not look like a total freak. Wishful thinking, I'm sure. Groar.

On a positive note, the car is running great and I can get myself to and from places without having to beg like a teenager. Hehe. That makes me giddy. YAY car! Overall, things aren't really all that bad. I'm just stressed out. BIG time. What else is new, though? LOL

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