Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Holy caffeinated Brite!!!

WOW! I've been awake since about 8 AM yesterday and I am fucking wired! I love caffeine...

Ok, so it's now 2005. Nothing really exciting. I just feel old. I'll be 25 on the 13th. I know that's not really old or anything, but I feel like I am. I am SO not where I wanted to be at this age. By now, I was supposed to be famous on Broadway, maybe breaking into the movies or on my way to a singing career. Yeah, that never happened. Instead, I live in Flint. I work in the same town I was pretty well raised in, this is the place I've lived most at least. I'm getting a divorce. I'm a single mother. And I have nothing I can call my own. I rent my home. I do own my car, but it's such a piece of shit now that I soon will not have that. I have a new kitten, but that's a cat. Heh. I've taken some college classes, but no where near enough for any kind of degree. I'm a fuckin loser! What a way to start off the new year. Major realization: I HAVE AMOUNTED TO SHIT! So, maybe this year I'll change that. I'm thinking I don't want to do college. I'm thinking I'm gonna become a Paramedic and save people. I really like working in EMS. If I take the course through my job, it won't cost nearly as much or last nearly as long. I think I'm going to become obsessive about my exercising habits again, as well. I've gotten rather flubbery and I don't like it. Time to quit being lazy. I need to get back on teh vitamins, too. At least the Niacin. So, I'll be red for a couple of days. Who the fuck cares? That shit helped me drop weight before. Maybe then I won't feel so unsure of myself and I'll be able to initiate things more often.

That makes me think of New Year's. I've been seeing this guy, Japheth, for a few months and he came over to spend New Year's with me. Totally unexpected, but I'm glad he did. It was nice. Just the 2 of us sitting in my kitchen, getting drunk, listening to music and talking about whatever random things popped into our heads. I made him listen to this band called Quick Kill Formula. He was amazed by the guitarist. He'd be saying something and then stop in mid-sentence and just stare at the radio. LOL At any rate, by the time it became 2005, we were both pretty tanked. I'd been feeling pretty frisky for quite sometime, so while he was on the phone with one of his friend's wishing them a Happy new Year, I decided to have some fun and started fuckin with him. Kissing on his ears and his neck cuzz I know that drives him nuts. Well, I'm not gonna get into details, but at one point, he told me he liked that I was taking the lead cuzz I rarely ever do so. Thing is, I like being dominated. Pull my hair, push me around, I really like that shit. Which is another reason I rarely take the initiative. Guess I should change that up, eh?

Ok, THAT was quite the pointless entry. Meh. I don't give a fuck. I just felt like typing for some reason. Probably cuzz I'm procrastinating. I've got this this ginormous stack of runs to go through and put in numerical order. Not anything difficult, just very mind numbing and seeing as how I dislike papercuts, I'm not looking forward to doing it. Not too mention the stack is damned near a foot tall. I shit you not. So, I procrastinate.

I am bored with writing in here at the moment. I can't come up with anything interesting to write about. Damn not having a life.

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