Tuesday, December 18, 2007

2 days to go...

Until happy surgery day. I know I just wrote about how I'm looking forward to it, and I still am, but I'm also starting to get nervous. I'm not nervous so much about them finding something (hell I want them to find something!). I'm more nervous about what might happen. I'm not sure if I wrote about this when it happened or not, but my mom almost died when she had her hysterectomy not too long ago. (It's been like a year and a half, maybe two years now) The same doc that did her hysterectomy is doing my laprascopy and I have no doubt in his abilities at all. He's never even had a medical malpractice suit or settlement or anything like that against him. My mom apparently decided that that would be a good time to scare the shit out of everyone and went into cardiac and respiratory arrest. More than once. When she came out of surgery, she was on a vent for a while and it was kinda touch and go for the first few hours. She was off the vent the next day and while she looked like shit, she seemed to be perfectly fine. They released her a couple days later. And while I know that I'm younger and whatever so I most likely will not have the same thing happen to me, it's still kinda freaky to think about. They called to pre-register me a week or so ago and they asked if I had an advanced directive. (I don't even though I know I should have one.) They asked me if I wanted them to save me, should I do what my mommy did, and of course I said yes. I didn't tell them that I don't want to be kept alive by machines, though, should it come down to it. I know I'm over thinking it and that's not even gonna be an issue, but that's how I roll. Always thinking about the worst case scenario. I suck, I know.

The boy is freaked out and keeps asking me when I'm going and if I've already had it done. Like when I picked him up from his dad's on Sunday, that was the first question out of his mouth. I hate that he's so worried and I didn't want to tell him about it, but he must've over heard me talking to someone about it. It's kinda cute how he gets all defensive about me now. His cousin was saying something about how I was walking (effectively making fun of me, like kids do) and the boy chirped right up with, "SHE'S HAVING SURGERY! SHUT!UP!" It's nice to know he'll defend my honor when little kids try to be assholes. LOL

It seems that it's Kitty Olympics time right now. They're ALL running around and jumping on things and knocking them over. They're LOUD, too, so I'm sure Greg is just loving that. They messed with his hours at work, so now everything is an hour off. He goes in an hour later, which means he gets out an hour later than normal. I don't think it would be such a big deal if he worked one shift. He's swing shift supervisor, though, so he works all three shifts. Last night and tonight he works third, which means sleepy time. Not too sure how well that's gonna work when the boys get here after school. Hope he's sleeping now cuzz them boys are LOUD!

Speaking of Greg, he'll be leaving for Kentucky a few days after I have the surgery. Not too thrilled about that. This is the first year that I will actually have Christmas day off and I'll have the boy and was thinking that we were gonna have a nice Christmas all together and be happy and Norman Rockwellish and generally vomit inducing. Seems I was wrong in that assumption as he had already made plans to go to his mom's. He just forgot to tell me. As usual. Ugh. Now I have to figure out how the hell I'm gonna give him money to make sure he can get there and back. This also means that I'm gonna be here all alone for a few days. I haven't been alone in a while, so while that's gonna be nice, I'm not looking as forward to it as I should be. I'll be going back to work Sunday and I'll be working Christmas Eve, so that'll eat up some time, and I'll probably sleep in the hours in between. (Maybe.) Christmas Eve though, I'll be all by my lonesome. *sigh* Maybe I'll call a few friends and see if they wanna come over and drink. That would be all nifty and shit.

Apparently, things are hitting the fan at work. Ambulance companies are always full of Teh Drama for some reason. We all have better things to do with our time, but somehow the rumor mill runs rampant anyway. Which is where a lot of my entertainment comes from. I'm the person that everyone bitches to cuzz I don't tell other people what's said, but I love hearing everything. I'm like a gossip wall or something. I'm nosey as all get out and willfully listen to people bitch about whatever is bothering them and then not say a word. So there's that drama and it's mixed in with the shitty moral. We all used to LOVE going to work when we first started. Now? Not so much. You can only shit on a person so many times before they start to get tired of the smell, ya know? Should be interesting when I go back.

My brother just called to see if I could take him to his recruiter's office. Heh. Can't happen. No money in the bank plus no gas equals no drivey anywhere extra. He signed up to go active ARMY a few weeks ago. Not too excited about that, but he seems to be a bit. There's quite a hefty sign on bonus (providing they don't fuck him over on that, which they will) and he wants to get some kind of training, which will be good for him since he has, like, ZERO job experience. Still, I'm not fond of the idea. He'll be shipped out, I'm sure of it. I had my fill of worrying about that when my ex-husband was in the ARMY. Of course, he was only in for six months before he went AWOL, but the worry is still fresh in my mind. The boy is already worried. He has a couple uncles that are in the service and he worries about them everyday. One was shipped to Iraq a couple times and came very close to being blown up, but managed to get out alive and is stationed in Alaska now. Hopefully he won't get called back. The other two are stationed over seas, just not in war zones. He worries about them so much it's heartbreaking. I swear that boy is gonna have an ulcer by the time he's eight with all the worrying he does. That's one trait I'm not too thrilled to have passed down.

Meh. My hands are getting tired and I feel like I need a nap. Probably best to get rested up before the boys get home. Then I get to fix dinner and ship them off to scouts and hand over the den leader reigns. (That's not spelled right. Oh well) One of the moms said she'd do it, but she wants to ask about changing the meeting night and all sorts of shit. Heh. I'll let her handle all that crap.

Welp, it's off to the couch! Providing the Kitty Olympics are over, that is.


Becky said...

Good luck, dude. I'm rooting for you.

Cricket said...

Thinking of you today. Hope it is going well.