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So, Sunday was Ozzfest and I had a fuckin BLAST! The bands were awesome, the pits were violent and there was even a sod fight. All in all, it was a GREAT day. Damned near 12 hours of metal and I have the sunburn to prove it. There were some minor tiffs, but nothing too major. Given that there were 6 of us that went together, I thought there might've been a bit more conflict. If there was, I wasn't around it and that made my day spectacular. I
took my little brother cuzz Greg backed out on me at the last minute. Looking back, it's probably best Greg didn't go. He'd have bitched the whole time. Hell, he texted me to see how it was and when I told him I was have a great time, he responded by telling me that it was all "kids shit anymore" and that there were only "kids with fucked up hair" there and that it was worse than rap, though he called it something different. Then, when the boy got dropped off, he tried to tell me that he wanted me home by 8 so he could go to sleep. He knew I didn't drive, so there was no way that could happen. He then told me that if he fell asleep, he didn't want to hear any bitching. I don't understand why he does things like that. He'll make plans with me, back out and then try to ruin my time when I go anyway. Or he'll just flat out tell me he doesn't want to go and then act like a ginormous asshole when I go anyway. When I was married, I wasn't allowed to do anything with out bargaining. I'm not about to get to that point again. At least he didn't threaten to move out this time. I told him the last time he did that that if he said it again, I'd put his shit out to the curb and he could move back home with mommy. I just don't understand why he has to try and make me feel like shit all the time. Just thinking about that shit makes me exhausted.
That's pretty much everything that's been happening. I took the boy over to my sister's house today. He hasn't seen her since he was like 2 or 3. Our sons are 19 days apart, so that was cool for the boy. He had a lot of fun today. She offered to go with me to the birthday thing on Saturday, too, and I think I'm gonna take her up on that.
So... On to the Ozzburn. It's epic.
This shoulder isn't too bad. I mean, it hurts, but the other side is damned near purple. o_O
Yeah. I'm totally awesome enough to manage to have a very distinct burn line from my necklace.
And there I am with no make up, showing off the mini black eye I got from catching a huge ass clump of sod with my face.
I was SO filthy when I got home that I took a shower right away. I had dirt everywhere. And, even though I was completely filthy, someone made me feel absolutely gorgeous. He seemed sincere when he kept complimenting me. It felt like he meant it and even if he didn't, it still made me feel incredible.
And no, it wasn't Greg.
I can now officially READ the blogs I was blocked from. Which I like. I can't comment (at least I don't think I can comment) which kinda sucks. Also, I've been trying to get my verification e-mail and I haven't gotten it. I even went through every fucking piece of bulk mail in case it went in there. Let me tell ya, I'm none too happy that it wasn't there. I was doing this thing where I didn't empty out my bulk folder for a while cuzz I was curious to see just how many I could get. I was at about 3000 when I went hunting. I gave up somewhere around 1600 and just emptied the damned thing and told bloglines to give me a new one.
Cricket- Reading your tale of the new wife reminded me that on Sept 1, I'll be spending the day at the beach with the ex-husband, the girlfriend/fiance/whateverthehellaheis and her 3 kids. I guess that's what the ex decided to plan for my son's birthday. I plan on taking the camera for pictures and I am hoping to have back up with me as well. And by back up, I mean someone I know who will sit with me and make sure I don't freak out when the ex's whatever decides to mess with my kid. See, the boy wants me to go cuzz, duh, it's for his birthday, but more specifically, he told me that he wants me there so I can see how she treats him. I know she won't do anything that she shouldn't while I'm there playing Mamma Bear, so that's not going to be an issue. What will be is the fact the she likes to run her mouth. A LOT. It probably doesn't help that I know she's scared of me.
- Ok, a bit of background before I continue. Ex's whatever is the older sister of my little brother's best friend. Little brother's best friend has known me since he was about 11 years old or so. Since little brother is 22 now, that makes it 11 years? Anyway, the whatever has heard stories about me in all that time from my little brother and her little brother. It was common knowledge then that she was scared of me, for whatever reason. I had never really met her and didn't have a problem with her, so really, there was no need to be scared of me. When she met the ex, we had been seperated for a month or so and I can only imagine the stories that came out of his mouth. When they broke up, supposedly "for good" and the ex decided to start calling me every day to tell me about the latest shit she had pulled and to make me think that he had maybe seen the error of his ways while we were married and try to pay me back as far as the lawsuit goes, he told me that she was extremely scared of me. Seems she got it into her head somehow (no doubt the ex's doing) that I was going to beat her ass old school like the next I saw her. No clue why I was going to do that, but okay. Since they've been back together and bought a house, some things have come to light that make me INCREDIBLY angry in the I'm-gonna-do-whatever-I-need-to-protect-my-son kind of way. Since then, she has decided that it's a good idea to run her mouth. -
*cough*
SO! I'm not expecting the day to go well at all. I'm not going to go looking for a fight or anything like that. I plan on keeping pretty much to myself and following the boy around and pretty much ignoring the people I don't feel like seeing. If the ex-in-laws are there, I'm sure that will create a TON of tension, since they like me and will openly point out her flaws physically as well as the flaws in her charactor and parenting. I went through the same thing when I married their son, but since the divorce, a lot of the things that ex was telling them I had done in the marriage were reveled to be bullshit and a lot of the things that he had done came into light, all by his own hand. I didn't run around telling his family about anything that went on during our marriage that they didn't know about. It's none of their business. It should be an interesting event.
Cricket- I'm not sure I have as much self control as you do. I might have a few months ago, but since the menopause? My temper is incredibly quick. If she starts running her mouth, I know I'm gonna shoot off right back at her, which is why I intend on stalking my son around the beach. LOL
Other things that are coming up include Ozzfest (Lamb of God!!! WOO!!!) and my vacation. Mind you, vacation doesn't include actualy going anywhere to... Um... Vaca? Vacation includes going to the boy's Beach Birthday Bonanza and NOT GOING TO WORK. For over a week! I can't begin to express how excited I am to have time off. Granted, I'm not working 7 days a week anymore, but I've been burned out for a while now and I'm hoping this time off will let me get back into things a bit.
I'm excited about Ozzfest, too. This will be the first concert in years that I've gotten Greg to go to with me. Hell, this will be 1 of 2 times he'll have gone out with me someplace that isn't going to dinner and then RIGHTBACKHOME in at least a year. (The other time would be this past weekend when I was able to get him to come out for a grand total of 1 hour for my sister's birthday. I think he only went cuzz he had never met her and wasn't sure if he'd get the chance to again) My mission that day will be to not pass out on the hill. o_O The DTE Energy Music Theater (or Pine Knob for anyone who reads that remembers when it was called that) has a pavillion that's covered and has seats for a lot more money than the "lawn". The "lawn" is basically a GINORMOUS hill that has grass on it in some places. (I remember the first time I saw Korn there and the mosh pits started on the hill, a guy had broken his ankle on a 90 degree angle in the first 3 minutes of the very first song.) Well, when I went to see the Family values Tour last month, I wound up passing out on the hill and missing all of Korn. I'm confused as to WHY I passed, though. The only thing I can come up with is someone put something in my drink when I wasn't paying attention. I mean, it was a warm day out, but I spent most of it in the shade and yeah, I was drinking, but I had eaten and didn't drink nearly enough to get me to the passing out stage. The only thing that makes any sense is someone slipping something into my drink. I think I'm gonna see if I can't take an empty big girl sippy cup in with me this time so I can just empty my drinks into that and put the lid on it.
Phew! There's an entry with substance! Now, I'm off to see if I got my verification e-mail yet...
Thanks for the BlogLines suggestion, Cricket! I wonder how long it'll be before they block that out, too. :-P
So... I can't read my OWN blog. I can write, but I can't read.
Neat.
So... I'm at work right now. Big surprise, I know.
Anyway, I have all of my favorite blogs listed in a section of my e-mail and when I have down time at work, I read them. That practice has kept me entertained on many a slow day. At least, it did. I tried to read this morning only to be met with a Page Cannot Be Displayed message. This happened on quite a number of blogs, so I decided to try to go to www.blospot.com. And that's when the giant ACCESS DENIED page came up.
*sigh*
I can't read Cricket at work anymore. I can't read Badger at work anymore. I can't even access PostSecret at work anymore.
And I am pissed.
I'm not sure why I can't access those blogs, but I can access this. I haven't figured that one out yet, since when I've clicked on the view more blogs option on Cricket's blog, I've come across Blogger. In fact, I was under the impression that Blogger and BlogSpot were the same site. Mind you, I'm probably completely wrong in thinking that, but that's the impression I was under.
I'm sure that I'll eventually not be able to access this at all, especially considering that I cuss on here. A lot. I'm also relatively sure that at some point in the coming days and/or weeks, I will no longer have access to my DeadJournal or my LiveJournal as well. After all, my LiveJournal is my source of all things gossip and gossip is wrong. And my DeadJournal is where I say things like fuckity-fucking-fucker all the time. And that's wrong, too.
I guess that's what I get for working for a Catholic hospital. I sometimes wonder if the sisters (yes, I am speaking of nuns) access everyone's history just to see what they're looking at and get all freaked out cuzz there's cussin or something. Meh. I'm amused that I grew up in a pretty strict Catholic family and they did more cussing and rable-rousing (is that how you spell it?) than people in Flint! LOL
I guess I'll just have to limit my reading to when I'm at home. Damn it. I wanna read now!
So... Not much happening since the last marathon update. Heh. Things seem to have pretty well evened themselves out as far as mood swingy-goodness and the hot flashes are starting to become not so irritating, though I'm still not completely sure when I'm having a hot flash or if the room is just overly warm.
Oh! I finally went and got a hair cut, so THAT'S new. It would seem that the people in my MySpace world think I look awesome, which is a HUGE ego boost. Kinda makes me wanna leave the house and go do something. Kinda, but not quite.
Anyway, here's me being a camwhore.
In that last one, I started out looking at the camera. That also seems to be the exact time that one of the cats (Mydna) decided she wanted to see if she could fly, hence why I'm not actually looking at the camera in the picture. She was unsuccessful, by the way.
So, other than gettin ma herr did, the only other thing I've been doing is working. ALL. THE. TIME.
I'm going to The Family Values Tour and Mushroomhead next Wednesday and Friday, so I should have something interesting to write about and I might just have some equally interesting pictures.
So, yeah. I went through with it. I got my shot two weeks ago this past Thursday. So, that means it was June 21st. Wait. What? I did not regale you with the tale that is my trying to get the shot from the fucking pharmacy? OH! Well! Let me lavish that tale upon you!
Picture this if you will...
It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon. My brother and his (girl)friend have just gotten to my house to watch my son so I can begin my injections. I drive over to Diplomat Pharmacy to pick up my prescription so I can take it to my doctor's office. I walk in and tell them my name. They ask me to spell it. I do. They can't find it. Hmm... Odd, since I called this morning to make sure it was there and I was assured that it was. I tell them it might be under the first part of my last name. It's not. They try under Jones. Still not there. Finally, they look under Leslee and they find it.
I give them my insurance card so they can process everything. Can't do it. They try it with my name spelled correctly, which always helps. Nope, can't do it. They try it with just Jones. Nope. Maybe the first part? Still not able to do it. So, the chickie goes to someone with more authority, thinking it's the whole hyphenated name that's messing everything up. Wouldn't be the first time that's happened, so seems like a good idea. She comes back and asks me if I have some other prescription card. Oh yeah! I forgot that I have 500 billionity cards for my insurance crap. I give her the one she was asking about and she goes back to the other chickie with more authority. She comes back after a few minutes and says that it's still not going through, but the other chickie told her to have me call a number on the back of the card and it should be taken care of.
So, I call the number. At this point, I'm mildly peeved.
I get some other chickie on the phone who asks me to spell my name and give her my birthdate and subsriber number. I do, but she can't find me in the system. I spell everything again and still nothing. I tell her I where I work and all my doctors names (there's like 5). She FINALLY finds me in the system and asks me what the problem is that I'm running into. I tell her that I'm at Diplomat trying to pick up a prescription that was called in for me sometime last week. She asks what it's for and I tell her Depo-Lupron. I hear some typing and I get put on hold. Mind you, she never bothered to TELL me she was putting me on hold, she just did.
At this point, I am moving into the not quite pissed off but horrendously peeved part of the mood swing.
She comes back and tells me that I need to have a pre-authorization number. Ok. I ask who I need my doctor's office to call and ask if it's be done any time in the next 15 minutes so I can be sure I can make it to my appointment on time. She informs me that pre-authorizations take 72 hours.
Now I've entered pissed off.
I tell her that 72 hours is not going to work for me since I need to have this shot during girly time and I more than likely will NOT be having girly time in 72 hours. She tells me that I can pay for the prescription in full and mail in the receipt for reimbursement minus my $5 - $10 co-pay. I ask how much it is and I expect to hear that it's between $50 and $100. Oh no. Care to guess how much?
$634.50.
Yeah. For ONE fucking injection. I told the chickie on the phone that she must be on crack. She countered that with a ghetto, "Excuse me?" I imagine she moved her head around like her neck was made of rubber and possibly snapped her fingers. I told her that I'm an EMS dispatcher, I even went so far as to tell her that I answer her 911 calls (even though I rarely take actual emergency calls) and that she must be on crack to think that I had $634.50 that I could just magically shit out of my ass in the middle of the pharmacy. The entire pharmacy staff started laughing. Hard. I think this angered the phone chickie cuzz she dropped her "professional" phone voice and told me that it wasn't her fault I was poor and that I needed to find another job if I wanted to have this medication. That's when I hung up on her and called their customer service line and spoke directly with her supervisor.
Kathleen? Yeah, I hope your bitch ass got fucking fired cuzz of me. Bitch.
If you haven't guessed, I've moved into the fucking pissed off portion of my mood swing.
The chickies at the pharmacy told me to call my doctor and tell them what was going on cuzz they've seen people get pre-auth numbers in a matter of hours when something like that happens. So, I went out to my car and called the doctor's office. I told them what was happening and made it a point of telling them that I work tomorrow 7AM - 7PM and that if I'm not able to get this shot today, there's no telling when I'll be able to get it. When the chickie at the doctor's office asked why, I eplained about the PCOS and that it could be 7 months before I have another cycle. I was met with, "Cooooooooool!" I told her that, no it wasn't really all that cool, but yeah, it kinda was. LOL
I hung up with them and decided to call the receptionist to make sure she knew I wasn't going to be at my appointment. When I called, she put me on hold to see what was going on, since I told her I had already called. Someone else got on the phone with me and told me that they were on hold with the prescription benefits people and that there was a strong possiblity that I could still keep my appointment and that she'd call me back.
Pissed off level went from fucking pissed, to irritated pissed.
I got home and began to play Dynomite cuzz I am horribly addicted to that game. My phone rings at about 4. It's the chickie from the doctor! Hooray! Except no. She tells me that I have NO prescription coverage through Health Plus AT ALL, which was news to me, and that this other thing (remember when I had to pul out the other card at the pharmacy?) is my only means of coverage and they don't deal with Diplomat. Seems that when I told the chickie who set everything up that I had insurance through Genesys and she explaimed that, "No shit? Me too!", she didn't stop to think that she had the exact same prescription coverage as I do and just went through Health Plus. The office had gone ahead and called the in-house pharmacy, though and they would have my injection ready by 130 tomorrow afternoon. Well, that's swell and all except I work 7 - 7 tomorrow, which I reminded her that I had told her that before. She told me to call and check my prescription benefits with the company and that she was going to make some phone calls as well, and asked that I call her back with what I found out. Ok.
I moved to moderately pissed off, at this point.
I called the place back and spoke with a dude this time who, after making me spell every thing and give the name of my first born and any other child I might miraculously conceive and what THEIR children's names might be, told me that Diplomat is covered in my plan. Buh... What?! I told him what was going on and he double checked and sure as shit, Diplomat was covered. So, I called the chickie at the doctor's office back and she told me that she had a pre-auth number and that if I could get to the office by 530 at the latest, they'd be able to give me my shot.
Back down to irritated pissed.
I haul ass back to Diplomat. Keep in mind that Diplomat is just down the street from where I work. If there weren't trees, I could probably spit on it if I had super spitting powers. I put my car in park and my phone starts ringing. It's the chickie from my doctor's office again, telling me that she has this dude on hold from the prescription benefits place telling me that I won't be able to get my prescription from Diplomat cuzz I have NO RETAIL PRESCRIPTION COVERAGE! She then tells me that o-boy wants to call me, but she wanted to be sure that I knew he was calling before he did so I wasn't caught off gaurd. I told her by all means to have him call me, to which she said that I sounded kinda evil. I laughed and told her that I was upset and she said that she would be as well and that she have the dude call me.
I go back to fucking pissed.
So, o-boy calls me and tells me that I have no retail coverage and that I have to have everything either done through the mail or at the in-house pharmacy. I ask when this happened and told him that I had had prescriptions filled at Wal-Greens and Rite-Aid before. He read me off my prescription history and said that while those (inhalers and Darvocet) were covered, high-cost injectables were not and that I needed to use the two options he had just given me. I was right at the drive way for where I work, so I went in and parked and lit a cigarette while he assured me that he was going to make things right. I was put on hold.
When he got back on the line, he told me that in order for them to do a one time over-ride so I could get the prescription at Diplomat, it would take between 72 and 96 hours. So, I told him that I have a cracked out uterus and that this shot MUST be given while I'm having cracked out girly time and I worked tomorrow AND Friday 7 - 7 and could not get the shot done then. He tells me that they can get the prescription transfered to them so they could over night ship it to my house, free of charge. *sigh* I told him AGAIN about the hours that I work. He told me that he could have it sent to the doctor's office instead. I told him there was no point cuzz my doctor's office is INSIDE Genesys and that I could spit on the pharmacy from there. He asked if I wanted it to go to my home or the doctor's office.
Dudes. I went to that special place where pissed off is a happy memory and everything is red. I was at the point where I couldn't yell. All I could do was speak very measured and very calmly. A few of you have seen me at that point. Those of you who have, have also told me that I've never scared you more than I did when I got to that point.
I told him the situation AGAIN and that nothing he was offering me was of help. He counted by telling me that they have certain policies and procedures that they have to follow. I told him that I knew more about policy and procedure than he knew about the color of his own jizz that stained the front of shirt the night before. Yeah, I siad that all calm and measured like. I then told him about the hospital housing the doctor's office and the pharamacy AGAIN. He told me I didn't need to be rude, but he wanted to mail it to either me or my doctor's office and would I be able to sign for a delivery tomorrow?
I laughed at him. There was nothing else I could do. We went round and round saying the same thing to each other for 5 minutes before it occurred to him what I said. He then told me he was sorry for being such a dumbass.
After all that, I went into my base to see if the dispatcher that was working would be able to replace me for 4 hours the next day. He couldn't cuzz he was getting his nuts snipped so he wouldn't reproduce anymore. Is that ironic? I think it is, since I wanted him to replace me so I could make sure I went into Menopause. Fuck you Alanis Morrisette for forever making me doubt myself when it comes to irony.
Anyway, so he couldn't and when I called up there at about 8PM, my boss answered and told me that the chickie I was trying to get a hold of didn't work there anymore, so I was screwed. (She got shit canned, come to find out, with no reasoning as to why and some bullshit write up) Thankfully, the other 3rd shift dispatcher came in for me at 3 that afternoon, so I got my shot.
Let me tell you, it completely stpoped the girly time. Like, within 2 hours, which shocked me. I figured I still had at least a day left to deal with that shit. I was happy that I didn't, but the mood swings were in full effect that same day. I shouldn't be surprised cuzz when they were testing birth control on me to treat the PCOS, I would go from laughing one minute, to full out sobbing the next and then bunching the steel tables (I worked at Domino's at the time) the minute after the sobbing started. I'm sure you can imgaine how bad that must've been. Well, take whatever you imagine and multiply it by like, 500billion.
Yeah.
THAT bad.
I think I'm probably gonna get fired soon. I got into an argument with one of the EMTs that same weekend. It was BAD. And, when I say bad, know that I TRIED TO WALK AWAY. Fucker followed me and had the balls to tell me it was "obvious" that I "have issues" after I REMINDED him that I had been put into menopause and probably wouldn't have a handle on my emotions for a bit. I told him I was sorry for being a bitch, even though I know I wasn't being one and he STILL followed me out of the back room to tell me that shit. I was seriously so mad that I could FELL myself turning red and I couldn't stop shaking. I was STILL shaking when I left 3 hours later.
And the mood swings just get worse form there. Most recently would be yesterday, though I'm still not completely sure it was me that picked the fight. I was cleaning and Greg wanted to make something that I wasn't planning on making for dinner. Mind you, he didn't ask me to fix it for him, but the boy, Greg and I had talked about dinner the night before and I thought we were all on the same page. Well, seems Greg wanted something else, which hurt me more than it should have. In the 2 1/2 years he's been living with me, I should be used to him not eating when I cook. Everyone else I've ever met in my life tells me I'm a wonderful cook, but for some reason, I don't measure up to Greg's standards. So, when he said he wanted something other than what we had agreed on, I was upset.
(I'm gonna copy and paste from my other blog cuzz it's easier at this point.)
I love my profile song (If you can't view my profile, go HERE and click on WITHERED. It's a beautiful song, I promise.) entirely too much. You should check it out. A lot of people I know haven't heard it. In fact, They've never heard of Atomship, which is a shame. They were fucking awesome.
I'm kinda hating this whole menopause shit. I know that seems to be all I talk about anymore, but it interferes with my life more than I ever imgained it would. I figured not too much would change. The PCOS has always fucked with my cycle. Like, to the point where I was buying pregnancy tests to take before I went out drinking. (Seriously, I didn't have any girly time for 7 months last year.) So, I figured since that happened, not too much would change, ya know? I've been moody for as long as I can remember, but this... This is something beyond moody. For those who saw how quickly my moods shifted when they were trying to figure out the right dosage of birth control to put me on to treat the PCOS, just imagine that multiplied by 555,555. Not fun. (Like I said before)
I'm not sure if I picked a fight with Greg today or if he was just being a fucking prick. I absolutely abhor the fact that when he gets mad or "irritated", as he put it today, he won't talk. At all. I was on a bit of a cleaning rampage today so I wouldn't have time to just sit down and think. I already had dinner planned and all of us has talked about it last night. I shouldn't have been surprised or even upset when Greg decided that he was going to fix himself something completely different. When I cook, he doesn't eat. He knows that it drives me insane and that it hurts me when he does that. It makes me feel even more worthless. He chooses to ignore that, though.
Anyway, so I got a little snippy, but I told him to just fix whatever he wanted and went on cleaning the kitchen. Aparently, I was getting in his way cuzz he decided he wanted something else, which was actually what I was going to fix. So, I'm cleaning, he's getting some stuff together and he decided to say that he was gonna make something else to go along with it, whic got me even more worked up. I loathe the fact that he actually, and sometimes actively, does not listen to me. I told him I was gonna go ask Alex if he wanted the same thing and he mumbled something. I thought he said there wasn't going to be enough for anyone except him, so I asked him what he said. He told me it was nothing. That drives me fucking nuts. Don't say something you don't want me to hear. If I can't understand what's said, at least have the balls to tell me what the fuck it was that was said. So, I asked him to tell me whatever he said again. He refused, so I told him what I had thought I heard. When he didn't respond, I got fucking pissed. I asked him one last time to tell me what he had said, explaining that I needed to know if he said there wouldn't be enough of whatever so I could make something different for Alex. He looked dead at me and told me "don't start with your bullshit."
I fucking lost it.
That was one of my step-dad's favorite things to say to me when he thought I was being snotty or bitchy or whatever. I usually got into severe trouble when he used that phrase.
Greg went out to smoke and I grabbed the vacuum and started on the carpets. I was slamming into shit accidentally and felt like I couldn't breathe, so I went to the bedroom and just exploded into full out, body wrenching sobs. I did that for about 10 minutes, went back into the living room and turned around and went back into the bedroom like 2 minutes later to sob some more.
When I finally was able to leave the bedroom with out crying, I went out to smoke. Greg was still out there. I asked him if he was gonna tell me what I did wrong this time, or if I was going to be given the silent treatment for the next week. He said that he was just irritated. I asked if he wanted me to fix whatever it was he wanted with dinner and he told me no, that he was just gonna finish with what he was making and go to work. Mind you, we were having an early dinner (around 330) so he could eat, get ready for work and then go. I was pissed, but I just went back inside. I knew nothing I said would even fucking register, so I gave up. He left at about 345.
He didn't have to be to work until 6.
Paranoia is a minimal side effect, but I'm betting that's what's making me think he's got some other chick out there. He's been leaving earlier and earlier for work (though never as early as he did today) and he's been coming home either later than normal or right when he's supposed to be leaving. Like, the other night, he got home at 10. He wasn't supposed to leave until 10. He works in Pontiac, so it's not like it's only a 10 minute drive home. I trust that he wouldn't be fucking anyone else, but there's a little voice telling me that he is. It wasn't there before.
Depression is also a side effect of the Depo-Lupron. Again, I'm not sure if it's cuzz of the shot or what, but I've been incredibly depressed. I don't want to leave the house. AT. ALL. I stayed in pajamas all day. Well, I got dressed when I had to get Alex from his friends' house, but other than that, constant jammies. I seriously took a shower and changed into fresh jammies rather than throw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I have a feeling that if I didn't have Alex, I wouldn't leave the house until I had to go to work and I'd probably wind up calling in.
I'm gonna force myself though this.
I'll get through it.
I gave serious thought to just telling him to get the fuck out and not come back. I thought about throwing him out over something incredibly stupid. If I didn't need him to help with the bills and rent, I more than likely would have told him to leave and that he could get his shit when I was at work on Thursday. I'm glad I didn't throw him out, but at the same time, I kinda wish I had tried. Maybe if I had said it, it would've made him realize just how selfish he's been.
I wish I could fucking sleep. My sleeping pills haven't been working as well lately. I suppose I'm building a tolerance to them. I bought a bottle of 32 last Wednesday. I have 6 left.
I want to get high. I haven't had been high in forever and, for some reason, I've been craving pot lately. I've been craving it as badly as I craved beef while I was pregnant, so you know that's one hellasious craving. Maybe that would help me sleep. Heh. knowing my luck, though, I'd get fucking fried the night before I had to go to work, would manage to hurt myself the next day, have to take a piss test cuzz I got hurt and wind up losing my job.
It's bad enough I'm not sure how long it's gonna be before I get fired through no real fault of my own. I shouldn't really try to help it along. Heh.
Yeah... So that's pretty much been my whole 2 weeks since the shot. Is this what the next 3 months are gonna be like? I really hope not. I don't know that I could handle all that.
In other news, I volunteered for Online Hotline through RAINN. I know that may not seem like a lot, but it's a HUGE step for me. I'm also concidering being a voluteer for thier national hotline. There's a shelter at the YWCA here in Flint that is affiliated with RAINN. I'm also thinking about being a guest speaker, though I'm not completely sure where I am with that. I mean, I WANT to cuzz I wasn't able to bring myself to do anything legally when I went through everything and I think I might be able to help someone else be strong enough to take that step. Thing is, before i speak in front of anyone, I need to make sure that I'll be able to do so without breaking down. I can't show weakness to these girls and women who've been through the same thing cuzz once I do, they'll think that everyone is completely destroyed by it and I can't let them think that. Regardless of whether or not it's destroyed me, I can't let them see that. If I do, they may not be willing to go forward. I can't now, but maybe I can help someone else who still can, if they're ready and willing.
So, that's where I am right now. Let me leaving you with a giggle inducing picture of me and Marc Rizzo (from Soulfly). I say him and Flaw this past Friday and it was a fucking PHENOMINAL show! Absolutely amazing. If you get a chance, check out Recognize. I know it's only a 30 second demo, but it's all I could find. Trust me, though, when I say that that song is amazing.
Anyway, so here I am with Marc Rizzo. I look WAY too excited to be in that picture. o_O
So, congrats if you've made it through the blog entry from hell! LOL I wasn't joking when I said it was long. I'll try not to let so much more happen before I update again.
I finally went to the girly doctor instead of rescheduling. I hate the girly doctor. Unfortunately, I have to have pap-smears every few months. Seems my girly parts are just that awesome.
So, while making small talk, the doc did the pap-smear. It HURT. Normally, it's uncomfortable, but nothing too bad. Today was painful. No idea why, since he decided to tell me that my cervix looks perfectly normal. That's a good thing.
He lectured me about smoking just like with every appointment. Blah.
Then he started talking surgery.
He was telling me about how it's been three years since I had the first one and that he didn't think he'd see anything new, but if I told him to do it, he would. I said that I would pretty much be up for anything at this point cuzz I'm tired of always being in pain. I told him about how I'm getting pain on the left now, too, but it's not constant like it is on the right. He asked me if I had ever been on an injection that started with depo, but isn't depo-provera. I told him I had been on depo-provera for years before I had the boy and he assured me that it's not the same drug. This one WILL stop my periods like the depo-provera, but it's not a form of birth control. This shot will send me into early menopause.
Yep. I'm going to have menopause at 27.
He said that 90% of women who use this shot have hot flashes like crazy and mood swings. Thing is, if i have microscopic endometriosis, this shot should help. It should get rid of my pain, which is what I'm ultimately after.
Menopause. I find it somewhat amusing that I'll be going through menopause with my mother. Heh.
So, that's where I'm at with all the girly shit. I have to wait until I start my period, which should be any day now, and then I'll start the shots. Once a month. Joy. He wants to see me again in three months to see if it's helping. If it's not, I get to go in for surgery. It'll just be laprascopy (sp) again, but there's a huge chance that I'll need a hysterectomy if this shot doesn't work.
Weeha!
So, the boy graduated from kindergarten on Monday. He's giant. Trust me.
***ALL PICTURES OF THE BOY HAVE BEEN REMOVED***
He really s the tallest in his class. That other little boy is the older brother of the boy who had the pool party.
Remember in my last post how I talked about my hate/hate relationship with the sun? Yeah... Check this shit out.
Less time than at the parade of DOOM. Seriously. Mind you, I spent pretty much all of my time with the kids. We got there late, as is my fashion. heh. I loathe you, sun.
So, I've decided to post pictures of the cats. See, I should be cleaning. But I am procrastinating, since cleaning day really isn't until tomorrow. The boy and I have a play date (that word amuses the hell out of me) with a friend of mine from high school this afternoon and while I love seeing my friend and her kids and I'm the one who initiated the play date, I'm not wanting to leave the house. Ever. It's the vicious cycle I go through where I want to be social, but I rellyreallyreally don't want to. Heh. The boy is excited, though, so there will be no cancelling. He graduates kindergarten tonight, so I'm sure there will be pictures of that coming as well.
Now, onto the CATS!
Aw, Baby Mae. She's so docile that whenever she decides to break out the little toy mouse on a stick and play with it, we're amazed. She's solid, too. We joke about her being fat, but she's really just solid.
Mydna (sneezer) Marie still needs to be spayed. Hoping to do that next paycheck. Until then, Greg's just gonna have to put up with her mounting his feet for pleasure. o_O
Baby had been giving Squeaker Ann a bath, but I guess Squeak decided bath time was over when the picture was taken. LOL
There's a couple better pictures of Mydna. She's our little fluff ball. I'm tempted to shave her just to see how big she actually is. She's the tiniest kitty. We think she's topped out on growing.
You'll have to excuse the mess that is my bedroom. Squeaker likes to lay in there all day long, much like Harley used to. It's like she decided to take over Harley's role as oldest cat. She gets most of the privileges Harley used to have.
We can't figure out why Baby seems to be going bald, but she is. That big spot on her tummy is from where she was spade. It grew back in, but now it's falling out and the area that's going bald is much bigger than where they shaved her. She's also losing it on her knees and backs of her legs. It's almost like she cleans too much or something. Harley would pick her fur off, but when she did it, she'd leave scabs cuzz she kept picking and picking. The vet said she had allergies. Baby doesn't get that much into it, but she cleans constantly.
Welp, those are my kitties. I saw a bunch in the newspaper yesterday that looked just like Harley. They said they were more than likely going to be put down cuzz no one had adopted them yet. If I had more room, those cats would all have a new home.
So, I took the boy the Burton Memorial Day parade yesterday. It was... Well, it was different. See, I'm used to parades in small town, like Durand, where people stay on the curb or the grass by the sidewalk and watch the parade.
The boy and I got there about maybe 5 minutes before and parked near the Speedway on Bristol and Center Rds. I wanted to get a pack of cigarettes before hand, but quickly decided against that when I saw how many damn people were in there. It was kinda freaky. We got our spot near one of the driveways and I sat on the ground so I wouldn't block the view of the people behind me. One of the other moms told me I might want to stand up cuzz it could get violent when it came time for the candy to be thrown. That's when I noticed that all the kids and some of the parents had plastic bags. The boy and I were sorely unprepared.
The parade started and more people came. One group had what appeared to be two moms and like 6 kids between them. One of the moms was saying something about keeping her kids in check cuzz it was just candy. Another mom that was on the other side of me said something to me about tripping the big kid if he started picking on her kid, who was considerably smaller. Then the mom on the other side of me was saying something about it being a bunch of bullshit cuzz it was just candy but she'd throw down if she needed to.
Yeah, it was seriously like that.
I told the boy not to fight with any of the other kids over the candy cuzz he had plenty at home and he did really good. At one point he tried to hand me a handful of Tootsie Rolls to put in my pocket and I told him no (we have this ginormous Tootsie Roll wreath that he got for Christmas that's barely missing a side), so he decided to just put them behind one of the smaller kids so he could "find them". The kid's mom (the one who was ready to trip kids) asked why he did that and I explained so she and her husband were on the look out for different kinds of candy for him.
Quite a few times, the cops had to come over and tell everyone to back up. I didn't realize it, but we had gone from the curb to the double yellow line and the people across the street were at the white dashed line. That was different. LOL
We watched the entire parade. It started at 100 and ended around 230. We got there maybe about 115. So, I was out in the sun for about an hour and a half or so.
Remember how I keep telling you guys how I have a hate/hate relationship with the sun? Well, check out this shit:
The part I circled is the ONLY part of me that got ANY color.
Yeah... No bra and no make-up is pure sex, I know. Try not to jump into your computer monitor trying to get a piece of that. o_O
The boy didn't have school again today. He played outside with some kids he met a few weeks ago all day long. That is, he played outside with them when they weren't in here trying to undue all the fucking cleaning I did today. It would seem that I've been dubbed the "cool mom" cuzz I let the kids play with his toys and have popcicles. Apparently, I am so cool that these kids don't feel a need to knock on my door, they just walk right in. Not too sure how I feel about THAT one.
So, Cricket has tagged me for this. Since I don't know anyone besides her that reads this blog, I'm going to copy this to my DeadJournal (there's a helluva lot more entries, but I've got them on a privacy filter, so you'd have to get a DJ and be my friend in order to see them) and tag people on there.
Hmm... 8 things you don't know about me. This is more difficult than it sounds.
~ I'm thinking about going to school to become a mechanic. Cars have always fascinated me and I'd love to be able to work on my own car and not have to waste time and money waiting for some shop to fix it if it breaks down. Mechanics also make decent money, so that's a plus.
~ I hate leaving the house without showering, yet I love getting dirty. Whether it's getting all greasy from building something or muddy from playing on the ground, I love getting dirty. I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that I find sex outdoors to be awesome. :-P
~ I tell people that my son was conceived completely by accident, when in reality I wanted to get pregnant cuzz I was convinced that that would be the only time I'd be able to. I had no business trying to get pregnant at 20. I must be psychic cuzz I was diagnosed with PCOS a couple years after he was born and it's very likely I'm not able to have anymore children.
~ When I get drunk, I wake up the next morning with chapped, red lips. No one else I know has that happen when they drink, yet it's happened to me everytime.
~ I am completely enthralled by celebrity gossip. I have no idea why and I think it's completely worthless, but I cannot seem to get enough.
~ I haven't worn a swim suit in 12 years.
~ I love horror movies, but I can't watch them alone. If I do, I wind up scaring myself so much that I won't be able to get off the couch or out of the bed (depending where I'm at when I'm watching the movie, of course) until someone comes home.
~ I reallyreallyreally love the smell of diesel fuel. Like when it comes from a school bus or an old truck or something. I don't know why, but I just love that smell.
Damn... That took me almost an hour to do.
So, it's been a week since I traveled to Indiana for the Jerrdog wedding. I've been meaning to write about it, but every time I start, I get lazy. Probably due to the fact that I am with out my phone and it's kinda making me batshit crazy, but who knows. At least I can still check my voicemail. Heh.
So, Becky and I were going to leave at 11 last Saturday, but we left at 12. 12 was the original time to set out, but I had suggested that we go a little ealier so we could stop at a store along the way so I could see about finding a bra that wouldn't show. I wore black, but it was a little lower cut than I thought when I bought it and I couldn't find any bras at home that wouldn't peek out.
*cough*
Anyway, we hit the road at noon and the ride went smoothly. There was a point after we went through Lansing that kinda freaked me out. For some reason, there's a stretch of I-69 that's not visibly bumpy, but makes your car shake and bounce. It felt like my tire was going flat. I was tempted to pull over, but I never did cuzz I figured I was just being worried over nothing. See, when I travel any real distance, I love to be the one driving. It helps calm me down cuzz I know if anything happens to go wrong with the car, I'm the one in control. I worry about the car breaking down when I'm far away from people I know, but I don't tend to worry as much as I would if I weren't driving.
We got into Indiana and were making great time. We shopped a bit in search of bras, but found none. Seems stores don't like carring ginormous. Bastards. I wound up buying shoes, though, cuzz I accidentally on purpose left my shoes at home. Heh. From there, we decided that we'd look for a hotel, grab something to eat real quick and then go to the wedding. It didn't quite work out that way. First of all, there are not that many hotels around Ft. Wayne, which is odd cuzz there was a shit ton of them listed on the intarwebs when I was being brilliant and wanted to book a room months ago. Unfortunately, I suck with teh monies, so I was never able to book one. We drove and drove and drove. Saw a Holiday Inn Express in New Haven, but Becky wanted to keep going to see if there was somewhere cheaper. Ok, so we drive and drive and drive some more. We come across an actual Holiday Inn. Becky calls Jerry to see if he has any clue where we might be able to stay and he tells her to go back to New Haven cuzz of some basketball thing that was going on that weekend. Heh. So, we go back to New Haven and snag a double queen smoking room. For it being a weekend, we got it for relatively cheap.
By this time, it's like 430 or 5 and the wedding started at 6 in a small town that I can't remember the name of, but I think it was like 20 minutes outside of Ft. Wayne or something. I drove down looking like your typical Flint-white-trash-ghetto chick, so I had to get dressed and fix my hair real quick. I was brilliant enough to have done my make-up before we left or else we'd have probably missed the wedding. Heh.
We got to the church with about 10 minutes to spare. Becky found Jerry's mom and introduced me and then we were ushered to a pew. The wedding started and Jerry kept making all these faces at Jessie and it was full of giggles and general happiness. It was a beautiful wedding. I wish someone had told us that there wasn't any flash photography allowed, though. We brought the camera and no one said anything to us when we got there, so, thinking it was ok, Becky started to take pictures during the ceremony. After she took a picture or two, we saw other flashes going off, so at least we weren't the only ones being assholes. *snicker*
As we were walking out after the ceremony, I noticed a familiar face in the last pew. When we got out of the church, I asked Becky if she recognized the guy and she said she wasn't paying attention. I told her that I could have sworn I had just seen Sahaj from Ra. Sure as shit, just a few minutes after I said that, he walked out the door. We talked to him for a bit and found out that he had come straight from sound check and was actually only going to be at the reception for a little bit cuzz he had a show that night. I still think it was awesome that he was able to go at all, let alone being able to squeeze it in before a show.
We went to the reception and gerenally felt out of place. I mean, we were out of state surrounded by people we didn't know and we were sober. There was NO way to not feel out of place. LOL The wedding party got there and they were introduced and then Jerry and Jessie were introduced. They walked in to Blind which made Becky squee with delight.
And that is when the keg came out.
Like the proud Flint beer drinkers we are, Becky and I beelined to the keg. They had little cups out at first and, since I was nervous, I pretty much threw back the beer at the speed of light. I tried not to cuzz I didn't want to look like I drink professionally in front of people I didn't know, but I decided at some point, that I really didn't give a fuck anymore. Becky and I told Jerry that part of our wedding present to him would be to make sure the keg didn't go to waste. I think we accomplished that. There was even a keg stand, which I don't think pleased some of the old people (looked like grandparents). Of course, it could have just been due to the fact that I was over there and had pissed off an old guy (grandpa?) when I went out to smoke. In my infinite smoothness, I walked outside talking loudly, as I often do, and managed to say something involving the word Fuck. Shocking, I know. Anyway, Becky and I turned the corner to go smoke under the pavillion and there was a dude in a kilt (I think his name was Turner) and an old guy (grandpa?) staring at me. Immeadiately, I said I was sorry and then I fell back on what would become my excuse for the rest of the night. I said, "I'm sorry. I'm from Flint."
*blink*
Yeah. Again, I was working the infinite smoothness.
So, we drank and met some awesome people, like Mama Heart (Hart?), who said that she would let us stay at her place for $95 a night when Becky told her we were charged $100 for our room. She even offered to throw in breakfast. LOL
After the reception, Becky and I decided that we wanted to drink some more. I wanted to go back to the hotel and change, but Becky just wanted to get to the drinkin. The first bar we went to we should have stayed at. It was really close to the hotel and we could have stumbled back if we got to lit. But, it was playing country. Becky is an avid hater of all things country music. We sat down and got giant beer and Becky went to talk to the band cuzz she saw the drums and wanted to pet them. I decided to chat up the bartenders and fall back on my nifty little "I'm from Flint" reasoning while talking to them about being robbed or something. A chick at the bar started talking to me about something and Becky came back and said she couldn't take the country music and we needed to find somewhere else to go. The chickie talked to her and told her about a place and even drew us a map. So, we were off.
The other bar we went to was kind of a dump, but it was kinda like being back in Flint. LOL The beer was cold and cheap, so that pretty much sold us. The fact that there played something other than country music was a plus as well. We drank and decided that we needed breakfast. Well, Becky agreed when I said I wanted breakfast and I kinda insisted that we find someplace. We got directions from some random bar guy and started walking to where ever the hell it was we were supposed to go.
At this point, I should probably point out again that we were still dressed from the wedding. This plays a slightly import role.
The place we were heading to was supposedly right down the street. Keep in mind that this place is like the size of Gaines. We were walking down the street when I decided to display my infinite smoothness yet again. Seems I thought it would be fun to see what would happen if I stepped on one side of my shoe while I launched my body in the opposite direction. Those of you who know me personally should not be surprised by this. You should also not be surpirsed that I managed to bite it. Hard. In my wedding garb. In front of a group of strangers that were walking down the street in front of us.
See? INFINITE SMOOTHNESS. It makes me sexy.
(Incidentally, this is when we think Indiana decided to eat my cell phone)
The group of strangers decided to be good ole small town folk and help me up. One of the guys even helped walk me over to a nearby stoop cuzz walking was just not in the cards after my awesome trip to the ground. They stayed with me while Becky went to get the car. The guy who helped me told me that he had just gotten out of jail, which obviously means that I should have fucked him right then and there. Heh. He told one of his friends, who happened to be a paramedic and confirmed that I had indeed fuckered my ankle, that he was obligated to help any and all girls "whose boobs were hanging out". Um... I know I what I was wearing was low cut, but I was far from having my boobs hanging out. Meh. Becky drove up as he decided to try and get a look at said boobs.
We drove to a gas station to get a soda or something and Becky asked directions back cuzz we had lost the helpful little map somewhere in our travels. He got us LOST. In a place the size of Gaines. Yeah... We went to a different gas station and discovered that we were literally just around the corner from the hotel. We got back there and promptly layed down and fell asleep.
We left just before check out at 11 the next day.
So, that was my adventure to Indiana, otherwise known as The State That Eats Cell Phones. What we think happened is that my phone either fell out of my purse when I bit it and one of the group picked it up or someone took it out of my purse while I was waiting for Becky to come around with the car. Either way, it's gone and I doubt it will ever be seen again. Dammit.
I believe I said something about pictures when I threw up that bulletin about not having my phone. I have 4 that I can put on here, since I was too lazy to actually load them all up on my photobucket while I was at home. Remember, I told you that the fact that we went out in our wedding garb played a slightly imporant role. That role would be comedic in nature. You'll see why here in a second.
Jerry and his bride, Jessie.
Jerry and Becky being weird. I was insistant on getting odd pictures for some reason. I think the purse brings out Jerry's eyes. Well, the purse and that bottle of booze.
Me and Jerry. Notice the beer. Also, Jerry is way prettier than I am.
Here is where the comedy comes in. Those who know me, know that I have not worn anything like this for YEARS.
Yes, that is a dress. Yes, I wore it of my own free will. Now, picture the fall I described. See where the wedding garb makes it funny?
I'm contemplating wearing that tomorrow when I go out for Mother's Day with the fam. I'm not sure if I'll wear it or not cuzz I think it makes me look pregnant. We shall see.
So, that concludes my entry about the trip to The State That Eats Cell Phones. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I also hope you're all laughing your ass off at my infinite smoothness. My ankle is better now, thank you.
Weird things happen to me A LOT
It's true. Something weird will happen to me or to someone I'm very close to at LEAST once a week. This is, by far, one of the weirdest things I've had happen.
So, I'm sitting on the couch, playing Zelda cuzz it has become my crack. My phone rang. I looked at the front and noticed it was an 800 number. Since it's after 9PM, I knew it couldn't be a bill collector or anything like that, so I figured it might be someone I know calling me with a calling card or something. My gramma does that sometimes, so it's not unheard of.
I answer the phone and it's obviously a recording. I caught it mid-sentence. The dude was saying something about how he thought that I worked too hard and that I needed a break.
Uh... Yeah, I do kinda need a break, but how the fuck does this recording know that?
As I continue to listen, Mr. Recording Dude tells me that he hears I am a doctor. He likes that. He tells me he's going to get his stethescope. Then he starts talking all seductive, telling me that I work too hard and that he knows an isolated island in the Bahamas and that I will have servants and he'll be there, waiting to massage me and check me out with his stethescope, so I don't have to be the doctor for once. He told me that he couldn't wait to see me naked in the sun.
HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
I seriously think I was just prank called by a phone sex recording. He was going into details when I hung up the phone.
Weird, huh?
Can't.Stop.Giggling.
Back to Zelda.
Heh. So, after 2 weeks and deciding to say fuck the gmail account I have and creating a different account, I've been able to log into my blog. How awesome for me. o_O
So... Let's see. There's been a shit ton of stuff I've wanted to update about, but couldn't. Let's see if I can condense it.
~New cat. She is a little black fluffball of energy called Sneezer Marie. She sneezes ALL.THE.TIME. And all my cats have to have a middle name for reasons I can't name. She seems to be agreeable with the name and, really, she doesn't have much of a say in it. :-P Greg wanted to name her BJ, but I immediately vetoed that. It seems that in the 2 years we've been together, he still hasn't grasped the fact that my mind has taken permanent residence in the gutter. To me, and the majority of my friends, BK = Blow.job and I wasn't havin that. In his innocent mind, he thought BJ would stand for Baby Jr. When I looked at him and said blow.job, he blushed and giggled.
~My uncle almost died this week. He had a pretty massive heart attack. Massive enough that, even though there was a cardiac ambulance ready and waiting at the hospital he was at in Mt. Pleasant, he had to be flown by helicopter to Covenant in Saginaw. Since Covenant decided to be assholes and wait 24 hrs to do anything, I was pretty irate and panicky. Honestly, if someone NEEDS to be flown in by helicopter cuzz their condition is THAT dire, wouldn't it seem like a no brainer to think they'd have some kind of priority? I guess only people who THINK would come to that conclusion. My mom went to the hospital that night and the next day and asked when my uncle was even going to SEE a doctor and they had the balls to tell her that there were more "emergent patients" that needed to be seen first. *insert confused face here* Even if I didn't work in EMS, I feel safe in believing that I would know that any patient that needs flown in is emergent and shouldn't be made to wait 24 hours before seeing a doctor. Yeah. He waited 24 hrs before he even SAW A DOCTOR. (So, I might still be a little pissy) Anyway, he had a heart cath and it showed that his entire anterior wall is blocked and there's another blockage, I forget where, that's blocked 50%. Instead of keeping him there or transferring him out to another hospital for surgery, they discharged him. My mom's hoping to get him to come down here.
~I get to speak to my doctor about testing me for ovarian cancer on Monday. This is stemming from me reading and freaking myself out. I'm sure I more than likely do not have cancer, but when you read a list of symptoms and realize you have all but 2, ya tend to wonder a bit. When you read that in the majority of cases, digestive and urinary problems are diagnosed before anyone even THINKS to test for cancer, you kind of start to freak, especially if you've just been diagnosed with both. Then you push yourself over the edge when you read that the majority of cases are not caught early due to patients not being forceful enough when requesting things be done or when describing symptoms that have been around for a while and have been worsening. 4 years. I've been dealing with this shit for 4 years and not once have I ever had an MRI, CAT scan or my CA 125 levels tested. By all accounts, these tests SHOULD have been done at some point. So, cue me freaking out. Again, I'm next to positive that I do not have cancer, but with the reading and the family history and the holy--shit-that-sounds-just-like-me, I'm kinda paranoid.
I think that's pretty much it. I may or may not have completely killed my friendship with Becky. See, she came up to darts the other night in tears cuzz her water meter was broken and the company wanted to charge her $185 to fix it. I offered to pay for it, but she needed to pay me back. Then she broke down and told me that she was $1300 behind in rent. Well, I'm a very generous person when I'm drinking. I like to make everyone happy cuzz if everyone else is happy, I'll stay happy. Without consulting Greg or thinking about it much, I told Becky to just move back in. Well, last night, I had to have her check and see if the other option she'd been given was still open. My mom and my brother kinda both dumped on me that they might not have places to stay here soon. Now, the brother, is ALWAYS on the verge of not having a place to stay. I think that has something to do with being 21 and next to no job experience, but I could be wrong. My mom has run into some issues with cars and rent increases and more money being spent on gas to get to a job than is what actually being brought home from said job. So, if it comes down to it, I will have my whole family in my little place. That will make 6 people and 3 cats in a 3 bedroom place. Could be interesting if it actually falls into place. So, with that being said, I had to see if Becky could move in somewhere else. I know she's pissed. I'm sure she probably feels slighted since when I left my ex-husband, she let Alex, Harley and me move in at a moments notice. But, what do you do with this situation? Someone is gonna be pissed off regardless of the choice.
My work schedule has finally gone back to normal. After working 7 days a week for just over 3 months, I am MORE than willing to be unemployed for a bit. I told Greg he needs to hurry up and start making more money so I can do the stay-at-home thing. I'm not sure if I'd be able to do that and stay sane, but I am MORE than willing to try. And I know he'd like to be able to make enough money for me to try it. Oh well. Maybe one day.
And that's pretty much it. I feel like I've just written a book! Oh well, I guess that's what happens when you can't access something for a little bit. :-P
I almost forgot to update about what went down with the bank account. That company wound up cashing the other two checks and haven't done anything else since then. My aunt want to wait and see what happens until she can come home in either March or April. If there's no other intrusion until then, we can just wait until that point to switch everything to another account, which will be slightly easier than having to try and fax all the paperwork back and forth between here and Japan. So far, everything's been going smoothly with it, so I'm crossing my fingers that it'll be done and over with. I'm not gonna hold my breath for that, though.
Ok, so back in the summer, some random kids came up to my door selling magazine subscriptions. I've gotten magazines like that before, so I didn't think anything of ordering again. I realized a day or two later that I am a moron when it comes to math and I didn't have as much money in my account as I thought I did. I issued a stop payment on the checks that I had written and that was that.
Except that it wasn't.
I checked my bank account online last night when I got home from work so I could double check my math after I had deposited a check that was cut due to my job deciding it didn't need to pay me 40 fucking hours. Yeah, you read that right. My paycheck was 40 fucking hours short. Anyway, that has been remedied and I deposited the money and looked at my account. There was a check that had been presented and cashed. "Hmm...", I thought. "I haven't written any checks lately." I couldn't view the check then and I couldn't find the checkbook it had come from to look at he duplicate to see what the fuck I decided to write a random check for. (I'm seriously a horrible pack rat. I have old paystubs from my very first job just in case I might need them for something. For what? No clue. But I might need them one day) I told Greg about it and that was that. I looked at my account this morning and could view the check. It's made out to Great Lakes Circulation. The date on the check? 1-12-2007. Here's what REALLY gets me.
I didn't sign the check.
I know that companies can do electronic checks, but I NEVER authorized that to happen. The fact that they used a check number that had a STOP PAYMENT issued on it really pisses me off. They didn't use my full LEGAL name for the signature and on the back, there's an account number or something, some kind of number, that was printed on there by a computer or typewriter or whatever, then CROSSED OUT and another one written in by hand. I am PISSED. I'm going to be calling the telephone banking system here shortly to see what the fuck is going on. If I have to close this account and open a new one, I'm pretty much fucked. My aunt lives in Japan and has to be on the account with me, or I can't have it. (Thank you fucktard ex-husband for completely slaughtering my credit)
I Goggles Great Lakes Circulation and found some sites that said it was nothing but a huge scam. I'm thinking that's true, since they were able to cash a check that I stopped payment on.
Ugh. So that's been my morning. I might post about the doctor's appt I had the other day, later. We'll see how the day goes.
So, I suck at updating when I say I will. In my defense, I've been training my minion (new dispatcher) and I haven't been in front of the computer. When I get home after work, I'm barely able to eat before I curl up in bed. Seriously, these 80 hours work weeks are killing me. That fucking minion better be trained enough to go on his own soon.
Yeah... Birthday shenanigans. I turned 27 on the 13th. Yippie? I decided to take the 14th off work so I could get pleasantly drunk with out having to be hung over at work the next day. Turned out to not really be needed, even though I decided to drink Long Islands all night. Heheh. Not too many people made it out, but whatever. The only two people I wanted to be pissed off at for not going were Bobbi and Jeremy and how am I gonna be pissed when one had a grandparent die and the other was legitimately sick. Meh. All in all, it was a pretty good time.
Oh yeah. There is photographic evidence in existence.
Becky's ass. Just because. I'm not completely sure when and why this was taken, but there it is and now it's burned into your mind. Mwahahahaa!
This is Becky singing. I can only assume this was taken shortly before the ass shot, but I have no idea.
Leara, who has always been very, very skinny.
See? Very, very skinny. I've known her since I was 12 or 13 and she actually has meat on her bones now. Believe it or not, she has spit out 4 kids. For real. (Please excuse the black ball in the picture. That hoodie is just SO comfy!)
Here I am showing off my drunken Rock Star skills. I'm such a badass.
Greg, being a putz. LOL I told him to smile so I could take a nice picture of him and while this one isn't really that bad, he's only smirking and it irks me a bit. The bastard.
The obligatory tongue picture. I must always have my tongue out in at least one picture.
Becky and Chris.
Apparently, this was Becky's pose for the evening.
My friend, Naomi. She's the one who gave me my first cigarette cuzz I was pissed off about something and threatened her. Yeah, when I get lung cancer, I'm gonna blame her just to see if she believes me or not.
Leara, Naomi and me in a booth at Dakota Lodge. See, Dakota Lodge started out as a restaurant and I liked it. I guess that wasn't bringing in the big bucks cuzz now they've turned it into some retarded nightclub. They still serve food, but I'm not sure how in the hell they can get it to their customers since you can't walk around in there with out rubbing up on people. Seriously, it sucks. I requested a song from the DJ and was told under no circumstances was any kind of rock music supposed to be played. I slammed my long island and we got the hell outta dodge.
I'm laughing cuzz I think that is when Becky's boyfriend decided to tell me to move my feet cuzz he was gonna piss on the floor. We really didn't like that place. No, he didn't actually pee on the floor, though he did seriously consider it.
Downing the long island so we can clear the fuck out.
Random picture taken by a random person. Not a flattering picture by any means, but it makes me giggle. Seems that my buttass white skin makes my teeth look very yellow in pictures and my eyebrows look like they could glow in the dark. They're really no where near that bright. And my teeth aren't really yellow like that. I promise.
So, that concludes my birthday shenanigans. We started out at a sports bar, went to a karaoke place, then off to a piece of shit night club/foodery and ended up at The Machine Shop for 80s with Rockstar. Good times.
I honestly didn't think they'd kill him so quickly. I mean, they were given 30 days to execute him. The conspiracy theorist in me is thinking it's all just a little too convient. Like they're saying the killed him, but are actually hiding him. The rest of me is thinking they just wanted it done and over with after all the years of bullshit he put his country through.
Either way, I hope the families of all the people he killed are able to find peace now.
Is it bad that I want to see video footage of this?
So, I'm more than likely going to take this down come the new year, but here is Christmas at Brite's Homestead. The boy got a shit ton of presents and didn't bitch once about not getting the XBox360 that he was convinced Santa wouldn't need money to get cuzz he builds all his toys. Matter of fact, when he was opening his presents, he kept saying how he had asked Santa for whatever it was and how he must've been really good this year. Thing is, I wasn't the one who took him to see Santa, so I had no clue as to what he had asked for. Guess Santa really kinda does exist! LOL
***Pictures Removed***
I'm never doing that again. I told Greg last night that I am never putting another cat to sleep. It was horrible and I'm never doing it again.
So, it looks like I'll be putting Harley to sleep tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'll do it before or after work. I only work 11 - 3 tomorrow, so I could do it whenever, really. I'm kinda leaning towards doing it after work cuzz I don't want to come in here with red eyes and make up all over my face, but then again, I don't want to be sitting here at work thinking about it all day. Ugh. This sucks.
A couple nights ago, Harley was laying down next to Greg and he was petting her. I had walked out of Alex's room into the living room and she started growling and biting her leg. I saw what I thought was spit and was kinda WTF? Then there was just this fountain. She pissed all over the couch and Greg and was growling and shaking. I laughed, cuzz dude, she just pissed all over Greg. The night before that, I went to pick her up in Alex's room and she growled and went for my throat. Seriously. She ended up biting onto my bathrobe right next to my throat. I let her go and she wouldn't let go. She hung there off my robe by her teeth. I had to pull her off me. Freaked me the fuck out. That night, she peed in Alex's bed, in the living room and the next morning, she peed in the kitchen. There's this spot on the counter that she has claimed as her own now. It's kinda gross cuzz, ew cat on the counter, but we can't keep her off it. We put her down, she gets back up. So, she kinda lays there on the one part of the counter. She eats and gets right back up there. Her fur is falling out and she's chewing it off again, too. 12 and 1/2 is pretty old for a cat, I guess.
So, that's what my Christmas money from my aunt is going to. Alex told me last night that he didn't want Harley to pass out. He meant pass away. I explained to him that she won't be hurting anymore and he liked that, but he still doesn't want her to go. I dont' either. Hell, Alex has had Harley around since he was born. I've had her since 1994. Ugh. This fucking sucks...
Harley in the LCD TV box. It was her kitty clubhouse.
Baby running across Harley's clubhouse.
Squeak tempting fate by taunting Harley
Glowy eyes
Circling the toilet to make sure it is all set for prime peeing pleasure
Peeing.
MOUSIE!!!
See the mousie?
Aw.
I have more pictures of her on the camera at home. I guess the internets are gone at home again for some reason. When I get them on the internets, I'll post those, too.
What's really gonna suck is when Alex comes home on Sunday and asks where she is. She disappeared before, right around Christmas. We thought she went somewhere and died, so we told Alex that she went to heaven. But then she came back. He was scared that she was a zombie for a little bit. I hope he doesn't think she's gonna come back this time...
